Clark and I had a huge fight this week.
It was one of those that starts after you're in bed about to fall asleep. It seems like our most intense arguments always happen after 10 p.m. (lucky us...we have to wake up at 5 am, too).
In the moment, it felt like we were arguing about a bunch of different causes and events that occurred this week. But looking back now - I see that the root of the whole argument was something much simpler.
We both wanted to feel understood, valued, and fulfilled through one another.
It's so easy to think, "Of course, you guys are married! You should want to feel those characteristic through each other." But that way of thinking sets couples up for disaster.
I never really grew up with a great understanding, or experience, of marriage and relationships if we are being blunt here. As I got older, I started forming the understanding in my head that my friends, boyfriends, and especially my husband should fulfill my heart and satisfy me. My happiness depended on how those relationships were turning out.
I hate to break it to you if you read that and think "me too", you are in for a major let down, if you haven't already experienced it.
My husband doesn't satisfy me. He doesn't fulfill me. Most days, he doesn't meet my needs and desires. And unfortunately, he let's me down ... a lot.
But before you start to think, "Dang, she is roasting this guy so publicly right now," I want you to understand something. He will never fill the emptiness I have in my soul. He will never meet all of my needs and desires. And our relationship will continually let me down while I'm expecting him to do it all for me.
He isn't satisfying me because he is not Jesus Christ, Almighty King.
When I place my expectation of fulfilling my soul and satisfying my every need on Clark, I'm bound to feel let down.
The only one who can truly satisfy and fulfill me is the one who created me.
We have to understand that an earthly relationship will never satisfy our souls. Whether its a mother-child relationship, friendship, or marriage, nothing but the love, presence, and sacrifice of Jesus Christ can satisfy us.
Our relationships will flourish when we stop placing unrealistic expectations upon them.
When I choose searching satisfaction in Christ alone, it releases my husband of a cross he wasn't created to bear. Only the Lord can bear that cross...and he already did for you and I.
I'm going to hold myself accountable in this step. I'm going to choose to let the love of Christ fulfill the needs of my heart first and foremost every single day.
I encourage you to take a second to consider if you are searching for fulfillment in relationships that aren't capable of satisfying you, too.